Wednesday, September 09, 2009

i wanna be me

I went to the dentist the other week to pay a fortune to have my teeth cleaned in a rather agonising fashion. So, while the hygenist is chatting away about how I don't brush my teeth correctly, blah, blah, she once again mentions the wear on my front teeth and how I could have them bonded.

Now, I've posted earlier about how I'd never even noticed that one of my teeth had a wee chip and had worn. Never. Until it was brought to my attention. Now apparently both my teeth have worn, but they can fix it.

Then she started rattling on about teeth whitening, two sessions apparently, and they could bond a number of my teeth so they become all the same length.

What?

Yep, for around $1500 I could have a "Hollywood Smile".

Or I could fly to New York for a week.

I don't want a Hollywood Smile. I want my smile. Yes, it's cracked and flawed, but I don't understand why you'd want to look like someone else and if I had a line of perfectly white, straight Hollywood teeth I'd look like someone else.

What does Nicole Kidman think when she looks in the mirror? I just saw shots of her at the tennis, with the most astonishingly inflated top lip and a puffy face that's obviously been stabbed with various fillers and plumpers. She doesn't look like herself, not one jot. And that's not what I want.

Off to brush my teeth now. Badly.

Oh, and guess what? This is my 850th post. Yay me. 1000 here I come.

4 comments:

  1. i know what you mean! that's all the rage I guess.
    yay for 850th posts!!! that's some fabulous adventure. ♥

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  2. I'd feel like Matt Dillon in Something About Mary with Hollywood Teeth!

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  3. I don't know a single person who brushes their teeth "the right way" as everyone I know gets told that by their dentist. the cynic in me believes they are just trying to make more money.

    And OMG! on Kidmans face! You know you've had too much when you like like you've put on 10kgs...in your face!

    Congrats on the 850th post!

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  4. A friend of mine is a dental hygenist and here's what she told me:

    -No, no one brushes their teeth the "right way". The "right way" would involve a water pick, a sonic powered electric toothbrush, yard of floss, and gallons of mouthwash. Then teeth would be "prefectly clean". Oh, you also have to brush your teeth at least 4 times a day because thats how often saliva and plaque build up yuckiness in your mouth. Who has time for that?

    -The "best" thing us normal folk can do, is floss, rinse, brush, rinse, rinse. Do that 2-3 times a day. It'll keep your teeth fairly white and fairly clean.

    -She mentioned that the "correct way" to brush is actually damaging to teeth because you wear down enamel just to try to eliminate plaque and for some people, it causes bacteria to go into overdrive, causing more problems.

    -She said, yes they do tell people that to get them in there more often. But thats mostly because theres lots of people who don't even go close to enough (2-3 times a year max is what a normal person would need.)

    -As long as you get in 2-3 brushings a day and you floss regularly, rinse regularly, your teeth are going to hold out fairly decently.

    My point is that people have been around for centuries with really bad teeth. We're probably doing it better than they did.

    Nicole Kidman is an android. Plain and simple.

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